Skinny Dippin' In the Dark ... meetin' Landsharks
This fellow has owned a home on a large bay front property in
Marathon for several years. He built a nice beach set up with picnic
tables, horse shoe courts and a beach volleyball court. The beach was
perfect for swimming. One evening on his way down to his beach, as he
neared the water, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he
got closer, by the full moon light, he saw group of young women skinny
dipping. He whistled to make the women aware of his presence and
they all went out to deeper water. One of the women shouted to him,
"We're not coming out until you leave!"
The old man replied, "That's OK, I didn't come down here to
watch you ladies skinny dipping, I just came to feed my
sharks!"
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IT'S MY OPINION ...THAT PARROT HEADS TRAVEL MORE THAN ANY GROUP IN THE
WORLD . MOST OF THE TIME ON LAND AND ON THE SURFACE OF THE SEA ...
BUT LOTS OF TIMES , WE'RE FLYING THROUGH THE AIR !!
Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the
"in-flight safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit
more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or
reported:
1. From a southwest airlines employee: "there may be 50 ways to leave
your lover, but there are
only four ways out of this airplane."
2. Pilot: "folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am
going to switch the seat belt sign
off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please
stay inside the plane till we land. It's a bit
cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects
the flight pattern."
3. After landing: "thank you for flying delta business express. We
hope you enjoyed giving us the
business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a
ride."
4. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a
lone voice came over
the loudspeaker: "whoa, big fella. Whoa!"
5. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a
flight attendant on a
northwest flight announced: "please take care when
opening the overhead compartments
because, after a landing like that, sure as hell
everything has shifted."
6. From a southwest airlines employee: "welcome aboard southwest
flight xxx to yyy. To operate
your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle and
pull tight. It works just like every other
seatbelt and if you don't know how to operate one, you
probably shouldn't be out in public
unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin
pressure, oxygen masks will descend from
the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over
your face. If you have a small child
traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with
theirs. If you are traveling with two
small children, decide now which one you love more."
7. "Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds,
but they'll try to have them
fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and, remember,
nobody loves you or your money more than
Southwest airlines."
8. "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation. In the event of an
emergency water landing, please
take them with our compliments."
9. "As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your
belongings. Anything left behind
will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants.
But please do not leave children or
spouses."
10. "last one off the plane must clean it."
11. From the pilot during his welcome message: "we are pleased to
have some of the best flight
attendants in the industry. Unfortunately,
none of them are on this flight."
12. This was overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo,
Texas, on a particularly windy
and bumpy day. During the final approach,
the captain was really having to fight it. After an
extremely hard landing, the flight
attendant came on the PA and announced, "ladies and
gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please
remain in your seats with your seatbelts fastened while
the captain taxis what's left of our
airplane to the gate!"
13. Another flight attendant's comment on a less-than-perfect landing:
"we ask you to please remain
seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to
the terminal."
14. An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered
his ship into the runway
really hard. The airline had a policy which
required the first officer to stand at the door while
the passengers exited, smile, and give them
a, "thanks for flying xyz airline." he said that in light
of the bad landing, he had a hard time
looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone
would have a smart comment. Finally,
everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady
walking with a cane. She said, "sonny,
did we land or were we shot down?"
15. After a real crusher of a landing in phoenix, the flight attendant got
on the pa and said, "ladies
and gentlemen, please remain in your seats until
Captain Crash and the crew have brought the
aircraft to a screeching halt up against the
gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the
warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door
and you can pick your way through the wreckage
to the terminal."
16. Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "we'd like to
thank you folks for flying with us
today. And, the next time you get the
insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a
pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll
think of us here at US Airways."
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| Bonus.... in case
you can't fly somewhere hot right now... how about a nice tropical dish to
bide you over until you can....
Rum Flambé Firecracker Shrimp
Yummy peppery shrimp with dark rum and flambéf in white rum.
Large shrimp (peeled and de-viened) how many per person depending on size
Parsley chopped, enough to make 2 tbls of chopped parsley
Shallot,1 tblsp chopped
Red onion, 1 Tblsp chopped
Fresh ground Black Pepper
Dried chili flakes
Dark rum (I prefer Cruzan Black Strap Rum)
White rum
Oil 1-2 Tblsp
Salt to taste
Chop some parsley (enough to make 2 Tblsp. of chopped parsley) ..very very
finely, do the
same with red onion and shallots.( to make 1 Tblsp each of ready chopped)
Put aside. Heat
some oil ( 1-2 Tblsp) in a heavy frying pan and then take a bunch (
measure how large the
shrimp are compared to how many people you are, maybe 3-4 per person is
ok?) of nice
large tiger shrimp and fry them lightly for a short time. Take the shrimp
out and put
aside. Add the shopped stuff in the pan and fry it. Put back the shrimp in
the pan and
Add some dried chili flakes ( 1/2 to 1 tsp) , some salt (,a dash? after
taste) and
freshly ground black pepper. (after taste) Stir and add dark rum (1-2 Tblsp)
and let the
flavors just blend. Now add a spoon of white rum and flambé.( 1 tblsp or
maybe a bit
less, depends on your "flambe-space" ...be careful though )
Ready to serve! with whatever
you feel should go with the shrimp. PS: Some coconut milk added at the end
of cooking adds
another island or two to your destination...
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